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About Literature / Artist Premium Member LJUnited States Group :iconword-smiths: Word-Smiths
 
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Deviant for 4 Years
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Statistics 192 Deviations 34,312 Comments 44,164 Pageviews

The Birds

The People

Critiques


Critique "Like Math, but with No Numbers" You left no questions so I'll just give you my opinion about whatever strikes me. I don't think this story is too short or too long. It's just right. I like a story that presents word-pictures right away and doesn't spend a lot of time explaining everything....

Um

Critique for "Um" You didn't leave any questions, and I'm operating on opinion only, but here we go into a short critique. 1. It's short because I see the need to advertise such a Society, excellently made into a business card that can go up on the 'fridge. I like the address you left for FB, and ho...

deviantID

xlntwtch
LJ
Artist | Literature
United States
Interests
-Radio silence
-Repeat, do you copy?
-Yes, Christ above, I copy! replied the Space Man in a tone more abrasive than he intended.

by Darkshift-Patriot
----------
"I don't want to alarm you, Paul, but I've turned into a horse."
"Not to worry. I'll just turn the dial back a little aaaand..."

by DamonWakes
----------
He stood there with a twelve-gauge pointed in the general direction of Lem's forehead.

by Memnalar
----------
Everyone in the sixth-grade class hated Heavenly Andrews, because if they didn't hate her they would have to feel sorry for her.

by spring-cleaning-time
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She liked her men tall and dark, just like her coffee.

by ohmistermagazine
----------
Standing on a corner, suitcase in my hand, I boldly prepared for forever.

by SlipShodTodd

~~~~~~~~~~

Please Take Away My Coffee"Oh, unquestionably," Mathieu said, "unquestionably. She's beautiful." And for once his eyes lingered on something long enough to truly take it in before returning to the blue canvas-bound volume of Keats dangling idly from his left hand. "Not my type, though."
The three of them sat around the plaza, three green uniforms idle in the middle of the flow of Paris life. With drill over, they had grown bored of the barracks gone into town where they settled in to watch the lives of unfamiliar people with their unfamiliar patterns unfold in front of them. Marc, who wasn't listening to his friends any longer, was watching one in particular.
"Hell if you even know your type," said Lucky.
Mat shrugged.
She was Marc's type. Up til now Marc hadn't even had a type, didn't know what it was. But just now, he knew he was looking at it.  Slender hands and a waist that sloped and rounded out in the hips, blue ruffles and a high-waist skirt, hair like darkwood; black but catching strains of ma
The UnderstandingWhen I’m drunk or
you’re drunk or
we’re drunk
and uncommitted at the same bar,
we leave together,
sit and fiddle with beers
at your place
my place
your dad’s place?
someone’s place,
laugh at the dramatic-moment music
in movies made when I was three,
talk about my ex-
cat, how you got high and played
in the snow,
and you find the shower
eventually after a beer-chug
beer-spill
beer-ponder,
myself trailing, tiptoeing
into the jeans-and-boxers puddle,
placing my folded clothes on the sink,
slipping in behind
the temperature adjustment
from the fjord-freezing or lobster-boiling
you turned on yourself
and while you wash my back,
pressing the curves with longing
lazy, I rub the soap into your red-
blue diamonds
as if I want the ink to stain
my fingers and
you slip inside me like water
and I watch your legs
bowing behind mine
and think of birds
(I am too
short for this love;
you give up, laughing,
untoweled thin body dripping
on the comforter),
and you won’t
RadioJacob was bored. The hotel lobby was many things—grand, austere, filled with a quiet professionalism—but amusing was not one of them. His mother and father had deposited him there under the watchful eye of the concierge while they went upstairs to get changed. Jacob thumbed the pressed creases in his pants, picked his nose a little, then settled back into the leather embrace of the chair.
They had spent the first few days in town visiting relatives, but now it was the night that mattered, ‘the big one’ as his father continued to refer to it. About every five seconds, Jacob thought. They were to visit the boss of someone else’s boss and have dinner with them, and it was essential that everything be just right, just so. Jacob’s father had given him advice to live by, or at the very least, to have lived the last few days by, given how many times he’d heard them since they landed in the city. Firm handshake, stare him in the eyes, Jake. F

galaxy - gone hidingfrom years gone by - from back yard now murky
our nighttime splendor - our Milky Way glory
soured by heavyweight light and pollution
seems weighed its anchor and went its own Way
with it the dreams of children past sunset
gone with the seasonal winding unwinding
soul searching for answers for clearer and cleaner
here we're getting warmer as oceans go deeper
the piper lacks payment - the world is near bankrupt
at fault is our greed - see? - the stars are near gone
llp - dA - jun2014
Just Eat ItThe cruelest irony of working as a server in a restaurant was not lost on Kristy -- starving at the end of the night, surrounded by food, no time to eat.  She was used to it.  Didn’t mean she liked it.  Her aunt Linda didn’t understand how she could go so long without eating.
She crawled home after a double, a pocket full of cash but a belly as empty has the heads of the customers she served.  All she wanted was some comfort and to not hear anything about it when she walked in the door.  All the lights were off in the apartment.  Linda’s door was closed.
Kristy went to her room, took off her work clothes and put on her yoga pants and tank top.  The kitchen was clean and waiting for her.  She went to the cabinets in search of something just for herself, nothing to worth getting into a fork-fight over.  The night’s tilapia special was split six ways with her hyena-hungry co-workers.
Extra chunky peanut butter with tripl
In the WildernessDown the street they've got a trash fire burning,
and it gathers the wind and paints ghosts upon faces
all orange and black, lucid and lascivious.
This ain't the Motor City though, it ain't the Bronx...
truth be told I live outside of town, outside the loop,
and people on this street rarely speak English,
and I rarely understand what they're saying.
And I see them, and I think, "America the Beautiful"
I don't really know what's expected of me,
sometimes you find yourself places you'd never imagined,
find yourself locked by gravity in a space of time
and you're where you're supposed to be,
because
you're where you are.
And if that's not enough for you, you don't deserve more.
I don't keep my lawn mowed, I don't tend my garden
or stain my hands with earthy soil. I grow mostly weeds,
and resilient Elm that are easier to grow than to kill.
Around here, you don't make yourself a target.
You don't project to the world - "here I am, look at me"
around here, you keep it quiet. Maybe you say, "


Thanks to all watchers and visitors. I appreciate you more than I can say. :heart:

Comments


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:iconsinergy-v2-0:
Sinergy-v2-0 Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, thank you so much for enjoying my flash fiction.

I really want to give back to everyone who contributed to my emotional health and happiness these past few days. You're amazing; don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

Also, the least I can do for you is supply a watch. :)

Thank you, friend.
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(1 Reply)
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner 5 days ago   Writer
Thanks for reading and offering your feedback.  I always enjoy hearing your perspective.
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(1 Reply)
:iconleyghan:
leyghan Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconthankyousignplz:

You have such an interesting fave collection. :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconirrevocablefate:
IrrevocableFate Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2014   Writer
:hug:
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(1 Reply)
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hey there and thanks for faving Work the Room.  Tis very much appreciated!  :)
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(1 Reply)
:icon22thorn:
22thorn Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014
:iconthxfavplz:
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(1 Reply)
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014
:hug: Hello dear one - and welcome to the staff of W/S, it's good to have you join us!
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(1 Reply)
:iconirrevocablefate:
IrrevocableFate Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014   Writer
I just wanted to say that you are wonderful. ♥
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(1 Reply)
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You write the loveliest comments. :hug: I've been going through my older pieces and your words stick out to me so much.

Just thought I'd drop by and say thank you. :hug:
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(1 Reply)
:iconarrogantreality:
ArrogantReality Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Professional Writer
Um. Thank you. Again. :B :giggle:
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(1 Reply)
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