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About Literature / Artist Premium Member LJUnited States Group :iconword-smiths: Word-Smiths
 
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Critique "Like Math, but with No Numbers" You left no questions so I'll just give you my opinion about whatever strikes me. I don't think this story is too short or too long. It's just right. I like a story that presents word-pictures right away and doesn't spend a lot of time explaining everything....

Um

Critique for "Um" You didn't leave any questions, and I'm operating on opinion only, but here we go into a short critique. 1. It's short because I see the need to advertise such a Society, excellently made into a business card that can go up on the 'fridge. I like the address you left for FB, and ho...

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xlntwtch's Profile Picture
xlntwtch
LJ
Artist | Literature
United States
Interests
words tumble lottery loose....

by Eremitik
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It was never the snakes in the closet/the alligators on the floor....

by beeinthebottle
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I watched the secondary pressure dial climb, ever closer to the primary.

by Memnalar
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Have there ever been such thoughtful words/written about a catch and release?

by jimfleming
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goodbye oleander ghost/freckled phantom flower/drifting ever more featureless....

by nawkaman
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In our family, a phone call always means bad news.

by kamcalste
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The deity sighed. He couldn't complain; he himself had designed the laws that governed existence.

by kevinpat
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He always stands very close to people when he speaks to them, staring with those huge golden eyes and leaning in ever so slightly....

by SugarHeartedGirl
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Thanks to all visitors and watchers. You are appreciated. :heart:
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Tuesday's PrayerGod forgive me; I've been mistaking good sex and better marijuana for spiritual enlightenment again. StreamThis is a cliche. I'm running, I'm bounding, I can't look back. The lumbering thing that chases me through a forest of gnarled black trees, around an indoor track the tone of Lovecraft's unnameable color out of space, between towering skyscrapers that twist unnaturally and gleam both in the harsh burn of the sun and the gentle glow of the moon--it grows closer, ever closer, and I can feel its icy breath at my back like a violent gust of wind, tearing at me, pushing me forwards. But none of this is odd. The strangeness lies in the fact that I am self-aware. I have not once in my life had a lucid dream. Why now? Why--
Awake. Thank god. But I can remember it, goddammit. I can remember it. I never remember my dreams. This place is getting to me. I never should've come. I never should've agreed to take that risk, to allow the expedition--and what could've inspired me to follow, to tag along where I had no business being?!
It doesn't matter now. I'm going to die here, die alone. I haven't be
Ode to my grocer...The grocery cart had old fruit smashed and dried to its grated floor.
"Someone really ought to hose that off," thought I.
I've had this cart before,
and thought the same thing then.
The parking lot was conspicuously short on cars.
Saturday morning is usually busier.
A corporate megamart has opened
just five minutes from here.
I pushed the cart into my familiar market,
defiantly devoted in the face of change
to my beloved grocer, unpolished, unrefined
and unapologetically human.
The Pinova apples are painted vibrant shades of yellow, pink and red.
Perfect in their imperfection. Better there be scars than a thick polish of wax.
And the voices around me – are they from Russia or Ukraine?
Is that Farsi or Arabic? I'm too ignorant to tell, but I love them all.
Alien music wafts through the aisles like invisible fog over a transparent bay.
Languages I don't understand, unique rhythms and instruments, too.
Wait! Is that Alsu singing Inagda? I haven't heard that since I was in Moscow.
Her

The Raven and the Light...At the beginning of time all the world was in darkness and The Raven, he was as white as the first snow. So it was, and so had it always been. The Raven's love, a princess, was the daughter of a great and powerful spirit, the keeper of light. The Great Spirit, appreciating The Ravens splendor, approved of his daughters union with The Raven and in time acknowledged The Raven as son. The Great Spirit, in his pride, desired to show The Raven his greatest treasure, for he would one day become its guardian. The day came when, as The Raven had come to visit his love, The Great Spirit beckoned to The Raven. "Raven, come. Come and see the power that I posses." Curious, The Raven followed The Great Spirit to a room of his house, one in which he had never before been permitted. The Great Spirit, kneeling before a chest spoke once more. "Closer, witness my greatest treasure". As The Raven approached The Great Spirit opened the chest and before him shone a wondrous light. He had never before seen 32 Seconds“Navigator. Is there a problem?”
Evans tore his eyes away from the glowing red timer. “Sir. Is that…?”
The Commander on duty – Simes! Yes, he remembered her name was Simes – calmly awaited his response, gauging his reaction. Was this a test? A hazing of the new Navigator, just reported for duty?
“Um, begging your pardon sir… that’s… is it supposed to be doing that?”
Simes did not break eye contact. “Is what supposed to be doing what?”
Evans gestured limply at the glowing, pulsing :32. The Commander made a deliberate show of turning to look where he indicated, muttering a brief Hmm a beat later, as if noticing their imminent doom for the first time.
“Oh yes, that.”  She turned back to regard him, not a trace of mirth in her eyes. “It’s stuck. Been that way for…” she paused, remembering, finally shook her head and addressed the air above them.
she can't keep secrets, i can't keep friendsthe first time I see her in months,
she still hugs me like i’m the only thing
keeping her world up.
i remember a time when this was true.
we do not talk about anything we used to—
those things have become taboo,
almost while our heads were turned away.
subjects are now landmines, with us tiptoeing around them,
me in my beat up converse and her in her sky-high stilettos.
we do not talk about how she did not say goodbye.
we do not talk about her old-new-old-old-gone boyfriend.
we don’t mention any new holes in my heart
or any new episodes of a now cancelled television show.
we do not talk about the new kid who looks like her
and we don’t talk about the school of new kids she looks at every morning.
i do not tell her that i have written seventeen poems about her
because she does not understand my way of letting go.
i do not tell her that it is close to October
and i have stopped marking off days on my calendar
and today i haven’t eaten any food
but i doubt sh

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(1 Reply)
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015   Writer
Thanks for coming by, LJ. :heart:
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:iconjimfleming:
jimfleming Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015
gracias :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconbark:
Bark Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Professional Writer
Thank you!
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(1 Reply)
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015
Thank You by KmyGraphic
dear friend, for your always amazing support, and fav'ing my work, you really do honor me!

"Late departure, going south"
"Will I also return"
"Children at the Gate"

:heart:
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(1 Reply)
:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Hello there, LJ.  Thanks so much for the fave.  Have a great weekend.  :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015   General Artist
Tag a quality deviant: You’re it! Quality doesn’t mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how much followers you have. Send this to 10 deviants who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them! Heart
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:icong-r-fracassa:
G-R-Fracassa Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Student Writer
Thank you for the +fav
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:iconlancelotprice:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014
Thank you kindly for the new fave, LJ. :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2014   Writer
Thanks for visiting, LJ. :)
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