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About Literature / Artist Premium Member LJUnited States Group :iconword-smiths: Word-Smiths
 
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Critique "Like Math, but with No Numbers" You left no questions so I'll just give you my opinion about whatever strikes me. I don't think this story is too short or too long. It's just right. I like a story that presents word-pictures right away and doesn't spend a lot of time explaining everything....

Um

Critique for "Um" You didn't leave any questions, and I'm operating on opinion only, but here we go into a short critique. 1. It's short because I see the need to advertise such a Society, excellently made into a business card that can go up on the 'fridge. I like the address you left for FB, and ho...

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xlntwtch
LJ
Artist | Literature
United States
Interests
Ginny always had a penchant for destroying things.

by akrasiel
__________
i'm done wishing/on shooting stars,/and/ i want to be done with you/....

by moondrums
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1 double vodka, 1 jagger bomb / This is nice. Chest feels warm, but all fluttery.

by CorporateRockWhore
__________
Delia had called him crying. Again.

by doughboycafe
__________
1. I expected a knight in shining armour but you were / just a boy, just a boy.

by xXI-Feel-InfiniteXx
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I see these people all over the place - / Depressed, anxious, confused, confounded even....

by The-Ditch-Digger
__________
not really an angel / nor fallen in error / but brought down....

by alapip
__________
It was a slow day, and for good reason.

by Grumpy-Old-Snake
__________
I have his books and a good idea of how he spent his days.

by FuzzyHoser
__________
And suddenly the music stopped, save for one lonely sax; wailing through the darkness like a lost child, drifting in and out of the smoke.

by Bark

Thanks to all watchers and visitors. I appreciate you more than you may know. :heart:

A Very Small War
Monster had been fighting a war for a long time.
Now there are wars and wars, and this one was an inside-the-house kind, the kind that happens between only two people and has a lot more to do with feelings and petulant silences than with swords and automatic rifles and lots of people dying. It was a very small war. But like all wars, it was awful, injurious, and involved a lot of tense and unhappy waiting.
So it was hardly any surprise to Monster when she staggered home from her adventure to find Raelani waiting for her on their mattress, an expression of profound betrayal on his face.
He was supposed to be downstairs, dancing his clothes off underneath the flashing orange lights. He was supposed to be on show until midnight. He had a schedule. But he was himself, after all, and Monster had always known it was his sworn duty to foil all her plans and prevent her from ever being happy. So while she was startled enough to almost f
blackberriesit meant little to her, she told me as much
but I loved her more each time.
on the rug, her bed
mine.
and before in the summer
I drove almost two hours at four in the morning
to watch the sun rise over a bench
with her.
that empty highway
splashed in glass.
her neighborhood
with yellow reeds all tidy in rows.
blackberries by her door.
it would be something like a pilgrimage,
if Mecca involved having sex in your car.
or terribly planned picnics
(who knew spiders loved sandwiches!)
laughing shirtless in the grass.
I find her red hair in my shower
the echoes of her sleep have sewn themselves
into the depths of my mattress.
if I don't move the blankets much
I can see the outline of her body
limp and loving and heavy with light.
''Punchlines'' -- Chapter 1        "I'm here to take you to The Other Side," the chicken said, cocking its head toward the thin strip of road.
        The man looked around himself, then blankly ahead at the road for a moment.  It looked newly paved, and mirages shimmered in the desert heat just above the hot blacktop of the highway that disappeared out of sight in both directions.  To either side of it, the parched clay ground baked in the sun like a kiln. There was nothing all around, but this terracotta desert that peeled and cracked like a bad sunburn, and the road. And the chicken.
        "Is this a joke?" the man said.
        "No," said the chicken, "This is the punchline."
        The chicken turned and started walking across the road.  The man saw little choice but to follow.  He didn't bother questioning its motives.
        It crossed slowly, all awkward bony leg

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:iconclarkdimond:
clarkdimond Featured By Owner 6 days ago
My Granny comments have disappeared.
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:iconclarkdimond:
clarkdimond Featured By Owner 6 days ago
Lurning to leark
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:iconlancelotprice:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2015
Thanks for faving 'fishing...' and for getting the 'Oh'. :hug:
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:iconspatial-ed:
spatial-ed Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the likes and comment.
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2015   Writer
:hug:
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:iconlancelotprice:
LancelotPrice Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2015
Thank you for the faving, LJ, glad to have you visit.
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:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015   Writer
Thanks for coming by, LJ. :heart:
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:iconjimfleming:
jimfleming Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015
gracias :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconbark:
Bark Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Professional Writer
Thank you!
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