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I need a drum and not just any drum. I need a drummer too, and not just any drummer.
The drum must be the water drum we use, and the drummer must be the man I know when he is the fireman.

I need a gourd and not just any gourd. I need a staff too, and not just any staff.
The gourd must be beaded, with leather tassels swaying at the bottom when I use it, when we use it.
The staff must be a symbol when I or another of us holds it, to show we are the ones to listen to, we are the ones who none can step in front of while we sing.

I need a song to sing and not just any song.
It must be the right song for the occasion, and right for the time, the song I sing four times.
I need four songs to sing four times. I need the right songs for the hour, for the need, and for the night.

I need that drummer, who with his father taught me every song to sing by the hour of each night.
I need that drummer whose voice matches mine, who drums our beat, water droplets splashing up with each fast strike of the carved stick he uses to chase our songs ever faster, every time we repeat them.

I need to sing these songs and sing them in order, sing them to life again.
I need to sing from sunset to sunrise.
I need the right drum and the right gourd, keeping pace and making me sing faster.

I need to sing these songs now, to help everything I know, and everyone.
I need to sing, and I need to sing with the others.
I need to sing for help for all of us.
I need to sing.
These are thoughts on world and home events. So many things are so terrible and difficult.
This is the best I could do about them~but I won't find this way here.
I can do other things I know.
But this way would still be the best way I know... [link]

Featured in... :icondaily-lit-deviations: ...5/9/11 ...Thank you!

:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:...unless you have permission and/or I know what you might do with it. :iconcommentswelcomeplz:

I would call this lyrical or "prosetry" writing. Do you agree/disagree?
Are descriptions clear for such a short piece?
Can readers judge easily enough why I wrote it?
Do you know any way to improve it?

Written on 3/14/11.

#ScreamPrompts#theWrittenRevolution#Unconventional-Story#GetWatchersMod#Word-Smiths
#WritersInk#CRLiterature#CRLiterature#ArtHistoryProject
#Critique-It=DailyLitDeviationsProseAdmin:#Critique-It#TheMysteryGuild#Elocutionists
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:iconkaijukim:
KaijuKim Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
very nice,good job!
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012   Writer
Thank you, and :iconthxfavplz:
Reply
:iconafrican-artist:
african-artist Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Very nice! I really love the rhythm you achieved, and not just talking about drums
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012   Writer
:iconthankscommentsignplz: ... :highfive:
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:iconafrican-artist:
african-artist Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012   Writer
:iconwizardplz:
Reply
:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Sometimes you just have to sing. [it is a very powerful way to communicate]

The repetition works really well.

:iconsparklesplz:
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012   Writer
:iconlachoirplz:
Reply
:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hahaha!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012   Writer
:iconrimshotplz:
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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
cute!!
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012   Writer
:iconcute-plz:
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:iconwh0rem0ans:
wh0rem0ans Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
1. I don't understand this part: 'we are the ones to listen to, the we are,"

2. This part loses the rhythm:
"I need that drummer, who with his father taught me every song to sing by the hour of each night.
I need that drummer whose voice matches mine, who drums our beat, water droplets splashing up with each fast strike of the carved stick he uses to chase our songs ever faster, every time we repeat them."

Was that intentional? If it was, I couldn't figure out why.

But I feel the emotion, I feel the need, in this piece. And the details say this is a longing that is so very specific.
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011   Writer
When I first wrote it, I labeled it "prose."
I never understood how it won a "poetry" DLD.
So I switched (for a while) to say poetry. But it really isn't. I switched it back just now. I wrote prose and I meant prose. I never should have switched before, just to go with that award. Never. It's prose. I can understand anyone having trouble with "the we are" because it's so specific to that certain ritual. It's meaningless to most people. I'm glad you felt the emotion. I was overwhelmed with it then. Thank you. :iconsparklesplz:
Reply
:iconwh0rem0ans:
wh0rem0ans Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
I do think it is poetry. It is the kind I write, which is rhythmic, narrative prose. (I just figured that out.)
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011   Writer
'Tis a slow day here. How is it there?
I'm not even getting new work done...just cleaning up the old, the "journal" pieces.
Frustrating, but I thought of many flaws.
Reply
:iconwh0rem0ans:
wh0rem0ans Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
I stayed in my chair almost all day. Then spent 90 minutes on a 60 minute drive with soon to be not sick husband ... not a good idea. Now I'm back in the chair. I read Pratchett and then Tea with a Dragon all day.
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011   Writer
Do you want to talk about this illness your husband will soon not-have? More below :icondownarrowplz:
Reply
:iconwh0rem0ans:
wh0rem0ans Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011
Oh. I had a respiratory flu and he caught up to me 4 days later. He is almost civilized today. It seems to linger and surge up again, though.
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011   Writer
I'm glad your husband is "almost civilized today." Good.
It certainly does linger.
I keep thinking I only have a cold/allergies. Plants around me are dropping seeds like crazy, and it IS cold.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011   Writer
I read Tea with the Dragon years ago.
Was delighted to find it and put on the Kindle recently. *faeriecrone said she just finished it.

Have you read The Book Dragon by Donn Kushner?
It's out-of-print.
A 'bookfinder' said it'd cost at least $35.00 for the slim book. I'd read it at my kid's, but wanted my own.
On the faintest chance, I kept looking at local used book store and found one [1] copy for $3.00. :iconyaayplz:
That book taught me more about dragons than I ever knew.
He's a good writer, too. Probably deceased.
Reply
:iconwh0rem0ans:
wh0rem0ans Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011
I tried to find The Book Dragon on amazon.com to no avail.

I have Dragon on my Kindle, as well. I am now collecting Pratchett books there. I know I will never carry all my books everywhere with me always. This is a hard idea for me to swallow but it is true. I want to live sparse ... with an IPad full of books. It's slim!
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011   Writer
Okay...every link took me to Google. I'll collapse the other answer with those links.

Then Google sent me to Amazon. [!!]
I suggest you use Google and type in title / author - shop that way.

Amazon does have copies - both paperbacks and hardcovers (used) - for $0.01 and their 'always' $3.99 s+h.
You choose your own usedbook vendor there.
Have you done that before?
BUT Amazon also offered "audiobooks" for this book - DVDs and CDs were both mentioned.
Interesting, eh?

Barnes and Noble has copies, too. $1.99 there, for "new" hardcovers. I don't know their s+h.
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(1 Reply)
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011   Writer
I know The Book Dragon isn't at Amazon.
I'm going to see if there's a link to the author, but don't follow what I make up until I add a note that says it's okay.
[link] ... [link] ... [link] ... [link]
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:iconfinishyourtea:
finishyourtea Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2011  Student Writer
I love it! Great job. =)
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2011   Writer
:iconthankyousignplz: ... and for this... :iconsparklesplz:
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:iconq99:
Q99 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011
I like this, it feels uplifting
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011   Writer
Thanks, ~Q99. :) It's helped me.
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:iconsnuggyskunkette:
SnuggySkunkette Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2011  Professional General Artist
Wow, I really love this, very very well done. I hope to hear this in song form one day.
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011   Writer
Thank you very much, and :iconthankuplz: too.

Are you a musician? I'd like to hear it in a song one day as well. (:
Reply
:iconsnuggyskunkette:
SnuggySkunkette Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2011  Professional General Artist
I'm a vocalist. I have no band I just know I can sing cause my mother and brother both can and it passed on to me also.
I've been working in FL Studio lately so I might be able to release some music sometime soon.
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2011   Writer
Best of luck.
I hope to hear you sing someday, if I ever know who you actually are. *smiling*
Reply
:iconsnuggyskunkette:
SnuggySkunkette Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2011  Professional General Artist
I'm going by the name Fay. If you hear that name, that's me.
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2011   Writer
Thank you. I hope to see a CD with your name on it. I'll buy it. :)
Reply
:iconsnuggyskunkette:
SnuggySkunkette Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2011  Professional General Artist
Thank you very much! ^^
Reply
:icontokiofalloutgirl:
tokiofalloutgirl Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2011  Student Writer
This is cool :)
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011   Writer
Thank you! And thanks for the star. I'm really glad you like it. :heart:
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:icontokiofalloutgirl:
tokiofalloutgirl Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011  Student Writer
You're welcome ! :)
Reply
:iconplaugh:
Plaugh Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011
Fantastic. The sense of community and interconnectedness of all things and the sense of history and culture are palpable. I like this a lot! :)
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2011   Writer
Thank you very much *Plaugh.
Your comment is thoughtful and good. It's one I really liked reading. :)

PS. Also - thanks for the star while I write this reply.
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:iconplaugh:
Plaugh Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2011
You are very welcome. :)
Reply
:iconwh0rem0ans:
wh0rem0ans Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011
The sense of urgency is clear. The reason is not, thus it could apply to anytime.

I am fascinated by the details in this and the previous piece.
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011   Writer
If you mean "The Cormorant" as 'the previous piece' I understand about the details.

The reason here isn't clear except a hint in Comments, but I like that you know they can apply to "anytime."
Reply
:iconwh0rem0ans:
wh0rem0ans Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011
To touch the universal is to open the heart.
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011   Writer
I agree!
Reply
:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I love this. It makes me think of a call to arms. To find humanity again by calling out with your heart. And heart beat (drum beat) to heart beat, the song will grow louder, more people will hear and sing along.
Everyone wants to change the world, I love you for wanting to change the world for the better.
:hug:
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2011   Writer
:blushes: ...thank you very much! :heart:

And :iconthankuplz:
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:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're twice welcome!! :heart: :heart:
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:iconpenfury:
Penfury Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011
My first thought was this is a medicine chief calling for his people to gather and help him sing the medicine songs that bring favor from the gods. After reading the artist comments, I re-thought that as singing healing songs for Mother Earth and all her children. I can imagine the gourd and drum, the gathering of people. It makes one think.
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011   Writer
Your imagination is a good one.
I'm glad you thought about this piece both the ways you do.
And in any more thoughts that might arrive and thrive. Thank you. :)
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